We are all leaders in our own lives. We have to be because no one else is going to do it for us. Michael Gerber, author of the E-Myth says, “Leaders are at their best when operating from their strengths and core values.”
However, most of us don’t think of ourselves as leaders. Many of us just think we are like a small cog in a large wheel, doing what we can to get by. Many of us don’t really believe that what we do, say and feel has much impact on the world or even the people in our immediate surroundings — our community.
A great example is the environment. For decades, people have believed that their individual actions don’t matter, but now we see that the collective actions of billions of "individuals" have destroyed this planet and we are now working feverishly to repair the damage.
The truth is that we do matter as individuals, but there is more than one way that individuality can be understood. One way is through a sense of entitlement. A few years ago, Dr. Jean Twenge wrote a book called, ”Generation ME”, which discussed the idea that the post baby boom generation in North America, called Generation X, felt entitled to receiving things not earned.
Dr. Twenge explained that Gen-Xers walked around with their hands out. In this first book, the dynamic was limited to Generation X, but in her latest book, ”The Narcissism Epidemic”, she reports that this dynamic has taken over in all age groups, including seniors and children. I am sure most would agree that extreme narcissism is not a good plan for any society.
A second and perhaps better way to “DO” individuality is what Michael Gerber, author of “The E-Myth”, calls, “Putting your life first.” He does not mean entitlement. He does not believe that life owes anybody anything, not earned. He does believe, however, that people compromise their dreams far too often. I agree with him and I believe that we pay a high price; in terms of wellness, for compromising our dreams.
We all compromise all the time and we have been doing this since birth. In fact, as we grow older, we become masters of compromising. Dr. Gabor Maté, author of “When the Body Says NO, The Costs of Hidden Stress”, says that as babies, before our brains are fully developed, we are forced to constantly compromise our needs as our parents try to function in this high-stress world. Dr. Maté believes that all this compromising leads to repressed emotion and repressed emotion leads to chronic degenerative disease later in life. As I said, we pay a very high price.
Many other doctors, such as Dr. Ray Strand, Dr. Bruce Lipton, and Dr. Kenneth Cooper, all support the notion that extreme emotional stress is a major component of chronic degenerative disease. The reality is that we have confused our need for individuality by taking the destructive narcissism and entitlement path too far, and completely overlooking our own core strengths, values and dreams. It seems that the further we put our hands out, the lower on our own priority lists we fall.
The result has been epidemic levels of chronic degenerative disease across North America. The Centers for Disease Control in the US and Canada now believe that 75% of us suffer from one chronic degenerative disease and 50% of us suffer from two or more chronic degenerative diseases. I don't know about you, but, I think it's time for an attitude adjustment.
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